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I find it extremely interesting that he has refused letting her have therapy! Makes me onder if Terri's parents might be right in their suggestion that foul play might have been involved. Without therapy even being tried, the tube shouldn't be pulled.

We had a lady at our church severly injured when a tree top fell on her when a strong wind came up. It was very touch and go with broken bones, a damaged spine and more. Her husband was told that if she made it, that she'd probably be a paraplegic and be in the hospital for a year. Once she finally came out of the coma, they were able to start doing some of the surgeries she needed, but in less than 6 months she was moved to nursing care and is able to move her arms some. She has come along ways and still has a way to go. (By the way, they had no medical insurance yet he still wanted to proceed - and the church has been meeting the needs!:thumb<img src="/images/boards/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">
 

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I think this is a money motivated act. It is my understanding that once suit was settled no rehabilitation was attempted, when it would have been beneficial. If there would have been a living will and she did not wish to continue in this manor, then so be it. Her husband seems to have an ulterior motive in my opinion, documents from the time seem to lead to some sort of possible abuse( I am not a forensic pathologist). I think the sad part is the level of abuse her life will probably end with. (starvation) Murderers have a more humane ending with lethal injection.

Bill Snader
 

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As usual, man is showing his dependence on his own understanding. Life is the precious gift from God. The parents should be given the right to allow God to take Terry's life or to perform one of his loving miracles. Jim
 

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Discussion Starter #6
This is a tough one.With no easy answers.I could'nt bare to see my kids in that state.I feel for the parents.
 

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"It is my understanding that once suit was settled no rehabilitation was attempted, when it would have been beneficial. "


I think this is one of the biggest misconceptions of the whole issue. He was not able to take any of the money. It all went to her care facility. He is just following her wishes. If your wife went into a vegitative state do you think she would want you to move forward with your life and have children?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
This is one place a living will would come in handy.When all this took place they were young and probably didn't even think of it.Plus they were'nt as popular as they are today.

I've already discussed this with my wife.She knows if I can't continue to live and do things for myself (at least to some degree)to pull the plug and let me move on.

We have no living will but will be looking in to it soon.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I believe he is seeing someone right now and has for some time.This is why the parents claim they should have the say in the matter because he has moved on.
 

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He's living with another woman (5 yrs running) and has two children by her. Also read a report that originally the police report listed her as a homicide!!!! SOme of this has to be researchable and if so, he should loose the right to make any decision regarding her.
 

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The lesson everyone should take away is get a living will. Make your wishes known in writing. My wife and I did and it took less than an hour with an attorney.
 

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Don't forget to also get a durable power of attorney for health care purposes. This form allows you to designate someone to make decisions regarding the health care you are to receive any time you are incapacitated and unable to make them for yourself, while the living will just deals with situations where you are in a persistent vegetative state. Both standardized forms can normally be obtained free from a hospital. When I was in for surgery about 12 years ago, I went through the outpatient section and they were sitting right on the front counter in two piles. You may have to ask for them, however.
 

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While I don't see it as completely out of the realm of possibilities that he could have found someone new to share his life over the years, I also think that it shouldn't be HIS decision to make for her. The more I learn about it, the more saddened I am to know just what some people can do to others. It's very unfortunate that there was not a living will or that power of attorney was not given to someone who would make an intelligent decision. My mother was given power of attorney for my uncle who is now terminal, with cancer that has attacked his liver, ribs, and spine, a few months after having surgery to remove his larynx due to throat cancer. He knew that she would respect his wishes and make intelligent decisions regarding his car (she was nurse for 25 yrs). Anyway, from the early media coverage, they made it sound as if she lay immobilized, a prisoner in her body. If that were the case, I may see things in a different light, however, knowing that she is capable of movement, emotion, and physically responds to stimulus, I am disgusted that someone would not step in and save her. What kind of life would she be subjected to? That, I cannot answer, nor can I speculate.... I do know that recently a woman came out of a coma after, what, 20 years. Miracles do happen... for what reason, I'm not sure. I don't consider myself a deeply religious person, although I am a baptised Episcopalian. I'm not sure WHY things happen, but I do believe they happen for a reason and that "someone" or "something" has a plan.

Sorry for my ramblings and my digressions.... I just needed to add my thooughts to this particular piece. I find myself getting more saddened as I type this. There are few things in the world that have had a "true" effect on me... Sept 11th was one. While in NYC on Oct 10th, one month after the attack, I cried several times as I walked through Grand Central Station and saw the hundreds of pictures of "the missing", pictures of those that were missing, with their families, and titled, "HAVE YOU SEEN ME??" From our little section of the US, it could have happened a million miles away, until you see it personally and are immersed in the atmosphere of sadness and desperation. <img src="/images/boards/smilies/frown.gif" border="0" align="absmiddle">

As I follow this more closely, I have a feeling that THIS will be another of those moments for me. I feel for her family and hope they find the strength and the courage to make it through her final hours.
 

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Very well put Aythya.
 

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No personal opinions from me on this hotbed topic, but as an attorney I would advise anyone interested in avoiding this type of situation to execute a living will AND a Health Care Power of Attorney; ALSO - let your wishes be known to your loved ones both blood and by marriage; Feel free to email me with any questions.
 

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So you visited her right? You know how she is? It would be my spouses decision. Not my parents. Bottom line. Doctors say she is in a persistant vegitative state. I haven't personally visited her. All we get is this right to life family groups opinion. He fought for her, her therapy did not work. I can see both sides of this but ultimately it is his and her doctors choice.
 

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IF you were directing your statements toward me, Duck... no I have not visited her, nor do I truly know how she is... DO YOU??<IMG src="http://www.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/confused.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>&nbsp; When was the last time YOU visited her?&nbsp; Do you believe everything you see or hear that is presented to the public by the media?&nbsp; I have seen interviews with neurologists that have differing opinions than those that say she is incapable of responding to stimulus and will never be capable of a recovery.&nbsp; Do I believe everything the media tells me, ABSOLUTELY NOT, however, some situations evoke a much more emotional response for some than for others.&nbsp; I, by no means, am a "right to lifer", but in this particular instance, I&nbsp; suppose that I am torn between whose decision it is for her to live or die.<IMG src="http://www.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/confused.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>&nbsp; <br> As I said in the previous post, my terminal uncle, made his wishes known.&nbsp; It is with a heavy heart that I write this because as of 3:30 a.m. he lost his battle with cancer, fortunately sparing anyone THAT difficult decision.&nbsp; They were to have a meeting with a medical ethicist this morning to discuss the situation, but he beat them to the punch<IMG src="http://www.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/angel.gif" align=absMiddle border=0>.&nbsp; Either he knew or HE knew (now who that HE is, depends on your beliefs, and that's a whole different post)....either way his pain has ended and I am relieved.&nbsp; <br> <br> <br>
 
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