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<DIV><FONT face=Arial color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-STYLE: italic; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">DARWIN AWARDS &amp; HONORABLE MENTIONS</SPAN></DIV> <DIV class=Section1> <DIV> <DIV> <DIV id=AOLMsgPart_2_463ee6b3-233e-49f4-9ddb-060fa57d8d19> <DIV> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">&nbsp;</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">1.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = U1 /><U1:pLACE><U1:CITY>Long Beach</U1:CITY></U1:pLACE>, <U1:STATE>California</U1:STATE>, would-be Robber</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: teal">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: black">James</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13.5pt; COLOR: teal">&nbsp;</SPAN><SPAN style="COLOR: black">Elliot did&nbsp;something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">&nbsp;</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">.....And now, the honorable mentions:</SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"></SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">2.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B>The<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of&nbsp;its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. </SPAN></B> <DIV id=AOLMsgPart_5_463ee6b3-233e-49f4-9ddb-060fa57d8d19> <P></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">3.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in <U1:CITY><U1:pLACE>Chicago</U1:pLACE></U1:CITY> returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">4.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B>After<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from <U1:CITY><U1:pLACE>Harare</U1:pLACE></U1:CITY> to </SPAN><U1:CITY><U1:pLACE>Bulawayo<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">5.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. </SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">6.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B>A<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) </SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">7.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">Seems an <U1:STATE><U1:pLACE>Arkansas</U1:pLACE></U1:STATE> guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. &nbsp;The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">8.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B>As<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> a female shopper exited a <U1:STATE><U1:pLACE>New York</U1:pLACE></U1:STATE> convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.&nbsp; That's the lady I stole the purse from." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">9.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B>The<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. &nbsp;The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.</SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt"><B><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; COLOR: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt">A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! </SPAN></B></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN: 5pt 0in 0pt 0.25in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; tab-stops: list .25in"><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">10.<SPAN style="FONT: 7pt 'Times New Roman'">&nbsp; </SPAN></SPAN></B><B><SPAN style="COLOR: black">When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges</SPAN>, saying<SPAN style="COLOR: black"> that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.</SPAN></B></P></U1:pLACE></U1:CITY></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></SPAN></FONT>
 

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<P style="MARGIN: 0px">Thanks for posting that up Mark..... I'd say that I can't believe that people are THAT stupid, BUT......</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0px">&nbsp;</P> <P style="MARGIN: 0px">Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the b all washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez''s scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez''s scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining threesome were asked to le ave the course. <IMG src="/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" align=absMiddle border=0><IMG src="/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" align=absMiddle border=0></P>
 

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<P>Those are Great!!!!!<IMG src="http://www.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" align=absMiddle border=0><IMG src="http://www.websitetoolbox.com/images/boards/smilies/rofl.gif" align=absMiddle border=0></P>
 

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<P><FONT face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, Serif" color=#336600><STRONG>amazing!!!</STRONG></FONT></P>
 

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Man, I feel like a genius. Ive always said that if you pay attention there is always someone around that makes you look smart on a daily basis.
 
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