Ohio Waterfowler Forums banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
420 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
<P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 24pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">WOULDN'T&nbsp; IT&nbsp; BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">My Fellow Americans:</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=6><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 24pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">As you all know, the defeat of Iraq&nbsp; regime has been completed. </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Since&nbsp; congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in&nbsp; Iraq&nbsp; is now complete.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of&nbsp; all American</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">forces from Iraq.&nbsp; This action will be complete within 30 days.<SPAN class=642402913-22042005><FONT face="Courier New" color=#000080 size=3>&nbsp; &nbsp;</FONT></SPAN> It is now<FONT face="Courier New"><FONT color=#000080><FONT size=3><SPAN class=642402913-22042005>&nbsp;<FONT face=Verdana color=#000000 size=5>time</FONT></SPAN><SPAN class=642402913-22042005>&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></FONT></FONT>to begin the&nbsp; reckoning.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Before me, I&nbsp; have two lists. One list contains the names of&nbsp; countries</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">which have stood by&nbsp; our side during the Iraq&nbsp; conflict. This list is short.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">The United&nbsp; Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria,&nbsp; Australia, and&nbsp; Poland&nbsp; are some of the countries listed there.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">The other list contains everyone not on the first&nbsp; list. Most of the</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">world's&nbsp; nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of&nbsp; both lists later this evening.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Let me start by saying that effective immediately,&nbsp; foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely.&nbsp; The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs&nbsp; of the Iraqi war.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">The&nbsp; American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes&nbsp; and watch those government leaders grow fat on&nbsp; corruption.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Need help&nbsp; with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">In&nbsp; the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward&nbsp; solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word&nbsp; to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and&nbsp; eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Thirsting&nbsp; for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France,&nbsp; or maybe</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">China.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">To&nbsp; Israel&nbsp; and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note&nbsp; that Camp&nbsp; David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to&nbsp; Russia&nbsp; for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am&nbsp; ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with&nbsp; France,&nbsp; Germany, and&nbsp; Russia.&nbsp; Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon&nbsp; chance, mes amis. </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">I have&nbsp; instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the&nbsp; many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more&nbsp; than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be&nbsp; stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to&nbsp; this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets&nbsp; tomorrow or watch your precious</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of&nbsp; the finest chop shops in the world. I love New&nbsp; York .</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">A special note&nbsp; to our neighbors. Canada&nbsp; is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you&nbsp; folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.&nbsp;&nbsp; </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Mexico is&nbsp; also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an&nbsp; attitude adjustment I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions&nbsp; sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So&nbsp; start doing something with your oil. </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Oh, by&nbsp; the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">treaty - starting now.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">We are tired of the one-way&nbsp; highway.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">It is time for&nbsp; America&nbsp; to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of&nbsp; isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn&nbsp; tootin."</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Nearly a century&nbsp; of trying to help folks live a decent life around the</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">world has only earned us the undying enmity of just&nbsp; about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in&nbsp; America.&nbsp; It is time to eliminate homelessness in America.&nbsp; It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.&nbsp; To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we&nbsp; won't forget. </SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">&nbsp;</SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">To the&nbsp; nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">God bless America.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">Thank&nbsp; you and good night.</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; TEXT-ALIGN: center" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">If&nbsp; you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in&nbsp; English,</SPAN></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=2><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana"></SPAN></FONT></P> <P class=MsoNormal style="MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt; MARGIN-LEFT: 0.5in; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0in; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-margin-top-alt: 0in" align=center><FONT face=Verdana color=black size=5><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 18pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana">thank a&nbsp; soldier.</SPAN></FONT></P>
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top