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<P> <TABLE id=Table2 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=328 border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3><B>40 Things Never Said By Southerners </B></TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=body vAlign=top colSpan=3><BR> <P align=left>40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.<BR>39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.<BR>38. Duct tape won't fix that.<BR>37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.<BR>36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.<BR>35. We don't keep firearms in this house.<BR>34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?<BR>33. You can't feed that to the dog.<BR>32. I thought Graceland was tacky.<BR>31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.<BR>30. Wrasslin's fake.<BR>29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?<BR>28. We're vegetarians.<BR>27. Do you think my gut is too big?<BR>26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.<BR>25. Honey, we don't need another dog.<BR>24. Who's Richard Petty?<BR>23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.<BR>22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.<BR>21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.<BR>20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.<BR>19. Trim the fat off that steak.<BR>18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.<BR>17. The tires on that truck are too big.<BR>16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.<BR>15. I've got it all on the C drive.<BR>14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.<BR>13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?<BR>12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.<BR>11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.<BR>10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.<BR>09. Checkmate.<BR>08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.<BR>07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?<BR>06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't&nbsp; seen.<BR>05. I don't have a favorite college team.<BR>04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.<BR>03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.<BR>02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.<BR>01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin tonight.</P></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></P>
 
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